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Bannerman Is The Most Genuine Brand, Mr. Vanderpuye!

Sun, 9 Aug 2015 Source: Okoampa-Ahoofe, Kwame

By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr., Ph.D.

Garden City, New York

July 23, 2015

E-mail: [email protected]

It is the kind of Bukom language the National Democratic Congress (NDC) exults in. It reeks of the patently unenlightened and even brutish. It is the raw and blood-dripping language of pugilists. Don't get me wrong, I love the art of philosophical fisticuffs. But, alas, the inartistic cooptation of this all-too-Ghanaian language by the brash and unpolished NDC Abongo Boys has so degraded the artistic ring of "Bukomese" that, these days, I tend to prefer the obverse of this otherwise unique trademark of the heart of our nation's capital.

When Edwin Nii Lantey Vanderpuye says that he intends to "thrash" his main and most formidable opponent in the 2016 Odododiodio Constituency's parliamentary election, you can bet your bottom-dollar that the man means every nuance of the word. The problem here, though, is the Deputy Local Government and Rural Development's woeful lack of an understanding of what it means to be called a "Bannerman." You know, the Bannermans have a longstanding tradition of using their cranial puissance or intellectual genius to make good things happen for the benefit of both their community and total strangers.

There was, for instance, a Dr. Bannerman right here in New York City several decades ago who distinguished himself at Jamaica, Queens, Hospital for his surgical and medical flair and acumen. He predicted my mother's passing exactly two decades hence, when the old lady refused to have a hysterectomy as advised by Dr. Bannerman. She was morbidly afraid that she might not emerged out of the otherwise routine procedure alive. Lo and behold, twenty years later her cancer had so metastasized beyond repair that she had to painfully wait for the proverbial Ice Man's touch for nearly three excruciating years. The old lady was only 63 years old.

And then there was Carl Agyemang-Bannerman, the musical wonderboy who studied music with my old man at the erstwhile School of Music and Drama in the early 1960s. That was when the University of Ghana, or Legon, was an academic giant among giants on the African continent. Then there was old man Rev. Bannerman, a thoroughbred Presbyterian cleric and Grandpa T. H. Sintim's fast friend and colleague who made it all come together in one piece, as it were. In other words, the Bannermans go way back almost to the beginning of time, to medieval Germany and Britain; they were once the vanguard warriors of the British Army whose bravery was demonstrated in ways that would give the Bukom NDC street tough the sort of nightmares that would make one wake up in the middle of the night running scared and stark naked and jousting with ons'e own shadow and screaming for "Maa."

And, oh, I once featured on Mr. Carl Agyemang-Bannerman's "Solid Black" entertainment show on GBC-2. Saka Acquaye, the esthetic and musical genius was also on the same program, as was also the petite and dainty Ms. Adwoa Abanquah-Duduo, big sister to my PERSCO classmate, the cantankerous and fiery partly Bishop Herman's-educated Abanquah-Duodu whose first name I have forgotten and who once stabbed the inner-wrist of a senior PERSCO bully who nearly bled to death. Adwoa Abanquah-Duodu, as I vividly recall, did the cultural news roundup for Carl Agyemang-Bannerman.

It is a damn shame that the NDC schoolyard bully and drooling foulmouthed thug should share the distinguished accolade of "Nii Lantey" with our noble and well-bred New Patriotic Party (NPP) Nii Lantey. Alas, it often happens to even the best and brightest among us. Yes the NDC's Nii Lantey is a craven coward and a thug. Remember how he once stood in front of bulldozers trying to preserve the socioeconomic and moral sore-thumb that was Sodom and Gomorrah? Well, the same guy prides himself of the fact that nearly 50-percent of the residents of Accra defecate in open public spaces, largely on beaches and in storm drains. This is the "brand" of local government and the "Nii Lantey" that the Odododiodio constituents ought to remember when they enter the polling booth in December 2016.

I mean, what kind of "Nii Lantey" brand of Local Government second-bananas parties, or jollies, over the fact that just last year alone, the country's Ministry of Health recorded nearly 30,000 cases of cholera epidemic. If this Bukom Bully, from the dark-alley side of Central-Accra, could really use his "Dwemo" or cranial "cream" to help clean the skin-crawling filth off our beaches and sludge and raw feccal matter off our storm drains he, no doubt, would change his name from Vanderpuye to Bannerman. Well, they say birds of same feathers flock together. Of course, I know you are more than savvy enough to recognize the other Vanderpuije that I have in mind. The Rambo-like suited, twin Vanderpuije who used to live somewhere in the State of Tennessee.

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Columnist: Okoampa-Ahoofe, Kwame