Counsellor Frank Adofoli
It is often said that during the worst times of your life, you will get to see the true colours of the people who say they care for you.
Eight years back, I was living in Kwahu in the Eastern Region of Ghana. I was a very successful young man, and for that matter, I attracted to myself all kinds of friends; from the good to “the maggots”.
Every weekend in my home, there was always a party and merry making for these friends. Unfortunately, I got a big problem, and to my surprise-all these friends deserted me. None was ready to help, accommodate or listen.
My only option was to leave for Accra. The place I visited the most was the beach. I spent time staring at the sea. The waves were inspiring, not because of the rise and fall, but because they never failed to rise again.
This beautiful experience gave me inspiration, "The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again" - Proverbs 24:16a (NLT).
Sadly we become hard on ourselves for making bad friends, putting all kinds of blames on ourselves and making it hard for us to take off from the situation we find ourselves.
The remedy is to forgive yourself for the blindness that put you in the path of those who betrayed you; sometimes a good heart doesn't see the bad.
The next thing I did was to erase old connections in my life and build room for new ones. I went through my contact list, and literally removed all those who were not making me grow.
In life, there comes a point when you have to let people go because they are toxic to you. They must go because they only take and take and leave you empty. Let them go because in the ocean of life, when all you are trying to do is stay afloat, they are the anchor that is drowning you.
You need to know some people are not loyal to you, and will never be. They are only loyal to their need of you. Once their needs change, so does their loyalty.
The intelligent people I know tend to have fewer friends than the average person. So the smarter you are, the more selective you become.
The bad friends who betrayed you will keep checking on you secretly to monitor your progress. After years of successful rise, they will show up with reasons why they did what they did. Hmmmmm…. But keep this in mind, some reasons make relationships precious, but only precious relationships are made with no reasons.
In conclusion "There are “friends” who pretend to be friends, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother" - Proverbs 18:24 (TLB).