I have many times shared the story of a single mother who had struggled to train her only son educationally. So great was her struggle that at different times, she had to sell off items dear to her heart just to see him through school.
I have many times shared the story of a single mother who had struggled to train her only son educationally. So great was her struggle that at different times, she had to sell off items dear to her heart just to see him through school. As the young man grew older, he started misbehaving and so this distraught mother came to me for counselling.
I asked her to come with her son, which she did. As I chatted with the young man, he opened up and told us what shocked the mother to her bone marrow; “My mother does not love me,” he said. His mother screamed in shock and anger; “You this useless boy, after all I have done for you, you feel I don’t love you.” To say she was genuinely shocked is an understatement. She could not understand how after suffering and sacrificing her all for her son, he could ever feel she did not love him.
The truth is that a large percentage of children and young adults believe their parents do not love them; the irony is that the parents do not even know. The parents believe that their children are aware that they love them. Many times behind closed counselling doors, I have heard these young adults pour out their hearts and the bitterness they feel towards their parents. I decided to study this great irony and discovered that with the pressure of life as a result of their background, many parents genuinely forget to make their children feel loved. “But I buy them clothes, and send them to the best schools, it is because of them I am working” some parents may argue but the question is do they know?
Love can be concealed and the average Nigerian parent conceals love behind harsh words, stern discipline and business. In a bid to discipline our children and create a better generation, we use only harsh words and forget to show love.
How many times have you just hugged your children, how many times have you told them love words, how many times have you cuddled them and called them their pet names. You may love them but it is important to let them know you do by showing it frequently in secret and in public. Love you!