As a Ghanaian man living abroad, I have encountered many pastors who claim that your marriage always comes first. This is a statement that is often misinterpreted by couples as “my wife comes first.” While it is certainly true that marriage is essential and should be prioritized, it is not true that your marriage should always come before everything else in your life.
The truth is that our relationships are not linear. Everything in our life does not always have the same order of priority. To suggest that your marriage should always come first is to ignore other equally important aspects of your life. For instance, your health, career, friendships, and other relationships should all be considered when trying to prioritize your life.
But the biggest issue with this statement is that it implies that a woman's needs and wants should take precedence over a man's. This idea is outdated and has been debunked by sociologists, psychologists, and other experts. Men and women should be seen as equal partners in a relationship, and both should be treated with the same respect and care.
The idea that your marriage should come first also suggests that a woman's sole purpose is to serve her husband. This is a damaging notion that does not reflect the reality of modern marriage. Men and women have the same roles and responsibilities in a marriage, and both should be given the same respect, care, and attention.
Furthermore, suggesting that your marriage should be the top priority in your life can have a negative effect on your relationship. It can lead to animosity and resentment if one spouse feels their needs are not being met. It can also create a power imbalance and set a precedent for one spouse to always get their way.
Ultimately, the best way to build and maintain a healthy relationship is by giving each other respect, love, and trust. Every aspect of your life should be considered and prioritized accordingly, and all aspects should be given equal attention and care. A marriage should never come first, but it should certainly be an important part of your life.