One of the leading reasons for continually thinking about someone is a breakup with a significant other. Most people have experienced the stress of having a relationship end at least once in their adult lifetime.
But whether you can’t stop thinking about someone because of a breakup, a lasting crush or some other reason, there are several things you can do to start refocusing on yourself and getting them off of your mind. Here are 14 tips for how to stop thinking about someone:
1. Don’t Make Contact.
Many times, people want to remain friends after a breakup. This leads to more heartache and less time to heal.
When healing, people need space to care for themselves. Contact with the other person leads to caring about what the other person thinks instead of what you need for yourself.
2. Stop Looking at Their Social Media.
Looking at their social media page will keep the feelings you have stirred up. Looking at happy posts on social media can hurt your mental health.
You will continue to feel hurt as you see them moving on or posting something unflattering about you on their social media. The best thing to do is delete them from your social media.
3. Turn to Your Support System.
During this time, your family and friends are going to want to make sure that you are okay. Allow yourself to share your feelings with them and let them be there for you.
They will understand and listen to what you say and might have some good advice on how to get over the relationship.
4. Focus on Self-Acceptance.
Use this time to look at yourself and grow. Find worth within yourself instead of extracting it from another person’s approval. Focusing on your self-worth can build self-esteem and allow you to create a more loving relationship with yourself.
5. Love Yourself. You deserve the same love that you would give anyone else.
If you have a challenging time loving yourself, now is the time to start. Giving yourself affirmations is one way you can start the process. You can also show yourself, love, by taking care of yourself.
6. Allow Yourself to the Pain You Feel.
Often when a person is hurting, they want to mask it or find a way to stuff it. Instead, allow yourself to feel the pain and sit with it. This will help you to able to deal with the pain and move on.
7. Be Yourself. Remember first and foremost that you are you.
You do not have to try to be who anyone else wants you to be, you just need to be yourself. You can change for yourself, but you should not change for another person. Be proud of who you are.
8. Practice Mindfulness. Mindfulness is about staying present in the here and now.
Practice ways you can do that so that you won’t focus on the other so much. Remember that you have a lot to look forward to in the here and now.
9. Realize You Don’t Need Them.
Healthy relationships are built on wanting to be with the other person, not needing to be with them. If you find yourself thinking you need them, then identify what needs they fulfilled for you. Once you identify what needs they filled, ask how you can fill that need yourself.
10. Invest In Your Hobbies. Take time to rediscover the things you love to do.
Spend time reading a book, going surfing, taking a long hike, sitting in the mall watching people, or doing whatever makes you happy.
11. Identify Areas You Would Like to Grow in for Yourself.
You all have things you would like to change about yourself. Now is a good time to start thinking about how you want to change. Do you need to work on time management or being more assertive? This is the time to help yourself grow in the ways you want to.
12. Develop Your Career Goals. What goals do you have for your future?
Maybe you have been putting off going back to school or applying for that job you want. Now is a suitable time to examine the goals you have and where you are currently. Once those are identified, then decide where you need to act and do it.
13. Invest in Something Outside Yourself.
Take time to invest in others. Now is a good time to invest in others such as a soup kitchen, animal shelter or other volunteer positions that interest you. This will help fill your time, leave less time to think about the other person and give back to others.
14. Accept That You’re Having a Challenging Time.
Accepting that your thoughts will wander toward that person is a way to help you forget. When your thoughts turn toward that person, acknowledge the thought and then distract yourself with other thoughts.